Have you ever loved someone, and as hard as you tried, you just couldn’t make someone fall in love with you? Sure you have. We all have. We have all wished we knew what it took to make someone fall in love with us.
“I don’t get it.. I’m attractive, smart, sensitive, accomplished. Why doesn’t he or she flip for me? Why can’t I find love?” How many times have you beat your fists on the pillow asking yourself this question?
You read this post skeptically, yet harboring hope, for the solution. You read the title: Learn How to Make Someone Fall in Love with You.
“That’s a mighty big promise,” you say. Indeed, it is. But the promise of this book is yours if you are willing to follow a scientifically sound plan to capture the heart of a Potential Love Partner. Why, when history is strewn with broken hearts, do we now claim the means to make someone fall in love with us? Because, after centuries of resistance, science is finally unraveling what romantic love actually is, what triggers it, what kills it, and what makes it last.
Just as ancient tribesmen saw an eclipse and thought it was black magic, we looked at love and thought it was enchantment. Sometimes, especially during those first blissful moments when we want to stop strangers on the street and cry out, “I’m in love!” it may feel like enchantment, but, as we enter the 21st century, we are discovering that love is a definable and calculable blend of chemistry, biology, and
psychology.
Well, maybe Freud was right. Romantic love is enigmatic. It is difficult to capture and convert into computerized, controlled bits and bytes of information. Instead, treating it as if it were a virus, scholars are tackling specific questions about love, nailing down a few facets at a time. They have made tremendous progress.
Out of the cascade of studies, six varieties emerge about what makes people fall in love. To be a successful Hunter or Huntress of hearts, you must, like Cupid, be a skillful archer, and aim your arrow dead center at the following six targets.
Create a Free Profile with Match.com
First Impressions
You Never Get a Second Chance at Love at First Sight
The first moments you spot your love interest—and he or she gets a glimpse of you—can be decisive. Herein lies a ”go/no go” decision. Scientists tell us that love’s seeds are often sown during the first few minutes of a relationship.
Similar Character, Complementary Needs
I Want a Lover Just Like Dear Old Me (Well, Almost)!
If you pass the first impressions test, you enter the second phase. Here your love interest starts making judgments about you as a Potential Love Partner. His or her subconscious mind is saying, “I want someone like me. Well, almost like me.”
Equity
The “WIIFM” Principle of Love
“Hey, baby, everybody’s got a market value! Everybody wears a price tag.” How pretty is she? How much prestige does he have? How blue is her blood? How much power does he wield? Are they rich, intelligent, nice? What can they do for me?
Ego
How Do You Love Me? Let Me Count the Ways
At the blazing core of first romantic rumblings is ego. Perhaps Cupid misses the mark when he aims his little arrow at lovers’ hearts. Science shows us where to really level our ammunition and take fire—right at their egos. People fall in love with people in whose eyes they behold the most ideal reflections of themselves.
Early-Date Gender-Menders
Is There Love After Eden?
Everyone smiled knowingly in 1956 when Rex Harrison moaned from the Broadway stage, “Oh, why can’t a woman be more like a man?” He knew his Fair Lady was a very different animal indeed. But in the era following My Fair Lady, feminists cast serious doubt on his convictions.
Now, after many decades of pondering, presuming, and postulating on whether men and women really differ in anything but their genitals, the envelope has been opened. The answer is—drumroll please—yes! Men and women think and communicate in dramatically different ways.
Rx for Sex
How to Turn on the Sexual Electricity
Many books on how to turn on your partner make sex sound like flipping the switch on the night-light next to your bed. “Press here to speed up orgasm. Stroke there for an extra charge.” Yes, sexuality is electricity, but your lover’s bodily buttons only speed up or slow down the physical functions. Mindpower is what drives the mighty machine and keeps it generating heat for many years. The most erotic organ in your lover’s body is his or her brain.
The Physical Side of Falling in Love
“Why Do My Insides Go All Funny?”
Falling in love is both a mental and a physical process. Some of the first techniques you will learn ignite your lover’s physical response to you before his or her brain catches up. We will put love through the brain-scanner and under the x-ray machine to examine what physically happens to your love interest when he or she starts to feel that incredible sensation called love.
“Why Do We Fall in Love with One Person and Not Another?”
People don’t just mysteriously wake up one morning with an overdose of PEA in their brains and then develop a crush on the next person they set eyes on. No, PEA and its sister chemicals are precipitated by emotional and visceral reactions to a specific stimulus.
Like what? It can be a whiff of her perfume, the boyish way he says hello, or the adorable way she wrinkles her nose when she laughs. It could even be an innocuous article of clothing you’re wearing that drives your lover bonkers. For example, in 1924 Conrad Hilton, the founder of the Hilton hotel chain, flipped over a red hat that he spotted sitting five pews in front of him in church. After the services, he followed the red hat down the street and eventually married the lady walking under it.
Click here to get a free 14-day trial of Rhapsody
“How Can These Little Things Start Love?”
Why do these seemingly meaningless stimuli kick-start love? Where do they come from? Are they in our genes? No, genes have nothing to do with falling in love. The origin lies deeply buried in our psyche. The ammunition that gets fired off when we see (hear, smell, feel) something we like is lying dormant in our subconscious.
It springs from that apparently bottomless well from which most of our personality
rises—our childhood experiences or, most significantly, what happens to us between the tender ages of five and eight. When we are very young, a type of subconscious imprinting takes place, similar to the phenomenon that occurs in certain species of the animal kingdom.
Where Are All the Good Men and Women?
Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places
Single and divorced people, young and old, all across America are asking themselves as they brush their teeth in the morning, as they shave or put on makeup, as they touch up the grey in their hair, “Where are all the good men? Where are all the good women?” “One in five Americans is single and searching,” American Demographics magazine tells us.
That means there are forty-nine million Americans aged twenty-five and older who are single, widowed, or divorced. And their number is growing. “Good,” you say, “but if there are so many Potential Love Partners around, where are they?” The answer is, “They are everywhere—looking for love—just like you.” PLPS are sitting in the park munching a Blimpie, enjoying music at a concert, walking the dog, riding the commuter train, and going to restaurants all around you.
Does Love At First Sight Exist?
Let’s say you get lucky tomorrow and spot a Potential Love Partner. He or she is sitting on the steps reading a book. Or standing in a museum studying a painting. Or getting on the bus. Or waiting in line at the bank cash machine.
You sneak a second peek. Something about the stranger revs up your internal PEA factory, and a little dollop goes squirting through your veins. Maybe it’s her looks, the way he moves, something she’s wearing. Her aura? Is this love at first sight? Does love at first sight even exist?
Well, that’s a semantics question. Instant desire, or lust at first sight, definitely exists. However, the scientific world pretty well agrees that love at first sight is merely Monday-morning quarterbacking.
How to Make A Dynamite First Impression
First Impressions Last Forever
The first moment your love interest lays eyes on you has awesome potency. The picture burns its way into his or her eyes and can stay emblazoned in your lover’s memory forever.
I have a dear friend, an older gentleman named Gerald, who is very sought after in the social scene of his hometown. He is a charming escort for several elderly ladies who long ago lost their husbands.
Gerald met these women when they were all in high school together back in the late 1970S. His women friends are inwardly beautiful; however, physically, several have gained weight and have long since lost their youthful attractiveness.
Once, at a party, I overheard a rude man tease Gerald about his taste in women. My friend was genuinely confused at the tactless remark.
“But they are all beautiful!” Gerald exclaimed. He reached into his wallet and pulled out an old, dog-eared black-and-white photograph of his high school homecoming queen and her court. “See?” Gerald said to the man. Two of the three ladies he was currently escorting were in the photo.
One of them was the homecoming queen. To this day, Gerald sees his lady friends as beautiful as they were back in 1978. Such is the power of first impressions.
Image consultants are paid thousands of dollars to pontificate in boardrooms across America, “You never get a second chance to make a first impression.” The adage has been given the exalted status of a proverb: “First impressions are most lasting.” So what else is new?
What’s new is this: Even as we enter the 21st century, we don’t really comprehend the unbelievable compass and consequence of first impressions. Or on what lilliputian details they are sometimes based.
Gentlemen, one backward baseball cap or gold chain flashing through the hair on your chest can make or break a budding relationship with the lady before you even say “hi.” Ladies, one quarter of a turn away when he ventures “hello,” can turn the handsome prince back into a frightened frog.
Be Ready for Love—Always!
If first impressions are so crucial and a Potential Love Partner makes the “go/no go” decision within seconds of spotting you, here’s the big question: Why do people looking for love spend so much time making themselves attractive when they go out on a date but so little when they take the dog to the vet? By the time you have the date, your Quarry’s first impression of you has already been set.
How you look on the date is, of course, important. But it’s not nearly as decisive as his or her first glimpse of you. You don’t realize it, but here’s the sad truth: You have probably let dozens of PLPS get away in recent months just because your trap wasn’t set—you weren’t fixed up for the kill. Hunters, that means you weren’t dressed for the part. Huntresses, that means you weren’t groomed properly.
Research shows that for men, clothes are more crucial to first impressions. For women, it’s her body and face.
TECHNIQUE #1:
DRESS FOR “THE KILL”—EVERYWHERE
Men, this does not mean you have to don your three-piece suit to buy the newspaper. Women, it does not mean you need to slap on three coats of mascara to walk the dog. What it does mean is whenever you step out the door, step out dressed to kill
How to Ignite Love at First Sight
A man may be classified as a breast man, a buttocks man, or a leg man. And, although many women will insist otherwise, most women are certified butt watchers. (This is not just idle conjecture: a British study determined that these are people’s favorite eyeball destinations.)
But researchers have ascertained that everybody is an eye person. When you were a teenager being reluctantly or otherwise introduced to strangers, your parents probably told you, “Look right into their eyes.” And then they would tell you in no uncertain terms that any of the aforementioned anatomical locations were strictly off limits.
Powerful eye contact immediately stimulates strong feelings of affection. This was proved once and for all in a study called “The Effects of Mutual Gaze on Feelings of Romantic Love.” Researchers put forty-eight men and women who didn’t know each other in a big room. They gave them directions on how much eye contact to have with their partners during casual conversation.
Afterward, the researchers asked each participant how he or she felt about the various people they had spoken with. The results?
Let’s say that in less technical language: Locking eyeball to eyeball with the attractive stranger helps put the match to the flame of love.
Reconnect with old high school friends and college roommates today!
TECHNIQUE #2:
INTENSE GAZE
When conversing with your Quarry, exaggerate your eyecontact. Search for his or her optic nerve. Lock eyes with your Quarry to give the aura of already being in
love.
TECHNIQUE #4:
BEDROOM EYES
While chatting with your love interest, gaze at the most attractive part of his or her face. Your pupils will automatically expand, giving you those bedroom eyes.
Also, think loving thoughts. Concentrate on how beautiful your love interest is, how comfortable you feel with her, how much fun it would be to take a shower with him.
TECHNIQUE #5:
STICKY EYES
Whenever you are talking with your lover, let your eyes stay glued to his or hers a little longer—even during the silences. A gaze that stays overtime awakens primal, slightly disturbing feelings. It induces the same “fight or flight” chemicals that race through our veins when we feel infatuation.
When you must look away, do so reluctantly. Drag your eyes away slowly, as though they had been stuck with warm taffy.
TECHNIQUE #6:
A VISUAL VOYAGE
As you and your lover are chatting, let your eyes do some traveling—but only on safe territory at first. Take a visual voyage all over his or her face, concentrating
mostly on the eyes. If he or she seems to be enjoying your expedition, take small side trips to the neck, shoulders, and torso. Women, you have a more liberal passport to travel in this territory. Men, be more wary. You’re cruising into
dangerous seas and can sink the ship if your eyes travel too far south and vacation there too long.
The Gentle Art of Pickup (Not for Men Only)
Biologists, as they watch animals spotting each other, sniffing, growling, hissing, nuzzling, and finally copulating, observe the same courtship rituals over and over. The identical patterns of proceptivity and aggression repeat themselves time and time again. If the pattern is broken, often copulation does not take place.
It is no different with Homo sapiens (that’s us), but we operate with a serious handicap. Unlike those of lower animals, our brains get in the way of our instincts. In other words, we think too much. We ask ourselves, and others around us, too many questions. “Will he think I’m forward? Should I play hard to get? Do I look alright? Is my tie straight? Maybe I should go to the ladies’ room and put on some more lipstick first.” Shyness often takes over and paralyzes us, like a deer frozen in car
headlights.
Rabbits have no such reflections. Nor should we, when we spot our Quarry. We must merely follow what research tells us are the right moves when we spot him or her.
Hunters, Make the First Move . . . Fast
Gentlemen, what are the right moves when you spot a woman you think you’d like to make part of your future? No argument here. You must approach, and you must do it fast. The old chestnut “He who hesitates is lost” is a rock-hard nut in the singles’ jungle.
Once a male buddy (a PMF, or platonic male friend, as we called nonromantic male friends in high school) and I were dining at a restaurant. My PMF, Phil, spotted a strikingly beautiful woman sitting alone at the bar behind him. He turned back to me and announced, “That’s the woman I’m going to marry!”
“Congratulations. So how do you intend to go about meeting her?” I challenged.
“Let’s see,” he mused. “Perhaps I’ll just go up to her and say hello. No,” he decided. “That’s too mundane for my future bride. Maybe I’ll go offer to buy her a drink. No, that’s too trite. Possibly,” he joked, “I’ll go tell her I’m passionately in love with her. No, that’s too forward. Shall I tell her I
want to make her the mother of my children? No, that’s premature.”
While Phil was bantering on about his approach, I watched over his shoulder as a good-looking man marched right up to Phil’s intended and sat on the empty stool next to her. By the time my friend turned around, the newcomer and Phil’s never-to-be bride were in deep conversation. “Love at first sight” became Phil’s “loss at first sight.” As it usually does for a Hunter who hesitates.
When you spot an attractive lady, what’s the best strategy? Let your body do the talking. First, use your eyes. Look at her and hold your eye contact for a few extra seconds. Be prepared for her to look away. A woman has been trained to lower her eyes when a man looks at her. This does not mean she is not interested. An analysis of flirtation patterns tells us if, after looking away, the woman looks up again within 45 seconds, she welcomes your attention.
Women, Make the Fast Move . . . First
Women, you may think the responsibility for the pickup rests on the man’s shoulders. Surprisingly enough, though, research shows that women initiate two-thirds of all encounters.
Your First Conversation
Conversation Is Making Beautiful Music Together
Conversation is like music. Your first conversation can be a beautiful concert where all the notes fall into place, bringing joy and harmony to your lover’s heart. Or you can inadvertently utter discordant notes that make your lover tune out thoughts of love.
How to Know What Topics Turn Your Lover On
It’s frustrating to be chatting with an attractive stranger and get stuck in the small-talk rut. You are silently screaming out, “Gosh, I like you. I hope you like me, too. Here we are, making chitchat, but I want our discussion to be more interesting, more meaningful. What would you really like to talk about?”
I’ve developed a surefire technique to ease the transition out of small talk and onto a subject that is closer to your new interest’s heart. I call it cherry picking. While your potential lover is making small talk, scoop up any unusual references in the conversation—any anomaly, any deviation, any digression, or any invocation of another place, time, or person. Pick that word out, because it’s your key to know what your lover would really like to talk about.
“Playing Hard to Get—Should I, or Shouldn’t I?”
How many times have you sat by the phone offering your firstborn to the monastery if only he would call? Onetime offer, God. Act now. Please.
Then the phone rings. “Hello?” It’s him! It’s him! God is good. “Would you like to go out with me Saturday evening?” he asks in dulcet tones.
You suppress a double back-flip. “Would I like to go out with you? Yeeeeeeees, I would love to go out with you!” But you decide against that wording. You resolve to be cool because you think perhaps you should play hard to get. You hem and haw a few seconds as though you’re considering his suggestion, and then you say coolly, “Why, all right.”
Did you handle him right? Does playing hard to get pay off? The answer may surprise you. Let’s go to the studies. Four highly respected social scientists, pioneers in the study of love, were firmly convinced, as were their colleagues and the general public, that men like a hard-to-get woman better. After all, everybody values that which they have to work for, right?
However, not to leave any stone unturned, they conducted an in-depth study called “Playing Hard to Get: Understanding an Elusive Phenomenon.” Researchers polled a group of college men on whether they preferred a hard-to-get woman, and why. The responses were predictable: “Well, sure, if she’s hard to get, it must mean she’s more sought after. Yes, if a girl is popular, she can afford to be choosy.
Well, my friends will envy me: there’s a lot more prestige in going out with a hard-to-get dame.” At this point, the researchers felt going through with a field experiment would be practically worthless. It was a foregone conclusion that hard to get meant better. But, being responsiblescientists, they put this theory to the test.
They hired a group of young men and women who had signed up for a computer-dating program. The men were to call the women and ask them for a date. The researchers told the women that half the time, they should pause and think for three seconds
before accepting the date, thus playing hard to get. The other half of the time, they should accept the date immediately, with enthusiasm, thus being easy to get.
Afterward, researchers asked the men how they felt about the women. The results astounded them.
In spite of what the men had said in the hypothetical situation, in reality they did not like the hard-to-get women any better. So much for that theory.
The researchers tested and retested the hypothesis in five ways, and all five methods failed to change the result. Just as science destroyed the prevailing theories that the world is flat and that heavier stones fall faster than smaller ones, science has destroyed yet another myth: Playing hard to get with the man does not make him want you more. At least, not at first.
But there was a wrinkle, as further experimentation showed. In another part of the study, men had the opportunity to choose from among five women for a date, thinking that other men were competing for her company. That worked. When the woman was hard to get for his rivals, but easy to get for him, he liked her more—a lot more.
For more information on how you can make someone fall in love with you, check out my “Best Of Create Attraction And Seduction Programs” reviews.
