It can be easy to become swallowed up into feelings of panic and desperation after a break up. Your mind begins to move in a hundred different directions and your just not sure what you should do or who you should listen to.

Before you do anything that will make the situation worse, focus on the 3 steps outlined here. This will help you get more control of yourself and the situation.

Step 1: Stop

All of the drama and mixed emotions can make it difficult to think clearly. This is why you simply need to stop everything for at least one day. Hide in your room, call into work, whatever. Spend one day collecting your thoughts and allow yourself time to recover from the initial shock. This is not an excuse to be depressed! This time is intended to be used for relaxation and reflection. Use it to prepare yourself for the coming days when you will have to face the world and your future.

Step 2: No Ex…for now

Most people think the best way to get your ex back is to keep calling them and saying you miss them, love them, etc. The fact is that chasing your ex right after a break up is only more likely to turn them away. Furthermore, your emotions are too unstable during this time, which will make it hard to present yourself in calm and confident manner. So don’t give into the temptation to contact your ex. Give each other some space and move onto the third step.

Step 3: Plan Your Strategy

This is the most important step in getting your ex back. Too many people are over-confident in their abilities to win back a lover. They randomly call their ex, send flowers, and even show up at their doorstep. The problem with this strategy is that when it comes time to talk they have nothing to say except “I’m Sorry” or “I Love You”. These words may be true, but it will not be enough to get their ex back. You need to build a strong attraction from them and prove that things will be different in the future. This is not something that can be done overnight as it requires creativity and thoughtful planning.

If you are struggling to come up with ideas, or if you just want someone to guide you through the process of winning back your ex, then check out my suggested readings at “The Best ‘Get Your Ex Back’ Ebooks section.